Age-related resilience

Once upon a time, when I was younger and definitely less worldly, I really cared what people thought of me. Now, not so much.

Does it matter in the grand scheme of things? Do I have to have anyone’s permission, approval or consent about how I run my business? No. Have I done ok so far? Pretty much.

As the years go by, I’ve found I care less and less about what people think, and more and more about whether I can lay my head on my pillow at night, knowing I’ve done the best I could during the day.

It matters more to me that I’ve acted morally, legally and ethically. It matters to me that if I have a problem with something or someone, I’ve done something about it and not stayed quiet for fear of being thought badly of, which I might previously have done. I can’t stand idly by while I watch something being done which I believe is incorrect, illogical, unreasonable, unfair or plain daft. And I tend to say things in a straightforward manner these days, whereas I might have spluttered and walked away before.

People might not like it, but it has to be done. I might implode or explode if I keep things in, and that just wouldn’t do. Think of the mess.

I was someone who would sit in a meeting and a bright idea would come into my head and I’d be reticent to share. I’d wait and wait, gathering up the courage, then someone else would say it and get the credit. I bet that’s happened to you too. 

Now I stand up for my views, share my ideas and if someone else presents a rational counter-argument, that’s fine. I’m happy to be persuaded otherwise but only if there’s a better rationale and I can see it makes sense. You may not believe it but sometimes I do get things wrong, and I get frustrated when there isn’t a rounded and fair debate on the subject.

I often ask clients why something is being done a particular way and frequently hear it’s “always been done that way”, which is almost a gauntlet being thrown down to someone like me. If I can’t see the logic I’ll offer a better, quicker, cheaper, easier way to do it. 

The result is that people look as it they’ve seen a ghost. They go white, then red, then a strange shade of green as the penny drops that they could have been doing it that way all along.

This, of course, is because having been in business for so long I’ve seen an awful lot, made many mistakes, enjoyed many successes, worked in and with a huge range of sectors, and have the benefit of experience. It means age-related resilience, more courage, less ‘sweating the small stuff’ and an ability to see the bigger picture.

Clients sometimes hook themselves on to a belief about an issue based on their views about their business. Age-related resilience allows me to stand my ground. I’m giving them my best advice (which, as a Fellow of the Chartered Institute of Public Relations, I’m duty-bound to give anyway) and because it’s based on an excellent understanding of my field of expertise and the facts that I’ve gleaned about their business. I reach conclusions and give advice solely for the benefit of clients long-term. And if they get frustrated with me when I don’t always agree with them? I go to bed at night knowing I’ve given the best advice for which they’re paying. I am, after all, on their side.

Lessons learned along the way?

•          Never be afraid to get things wrong – enjoy the learning curve
•          Focus on cash flow, knowing your customers inside and out, what makes them buy from you and what makes them not buy from you
•          Look after your clients as they’re your brand ambassadors
•          Keep up-to-date with innovation and new technology which can help you in your job
•          Take frequent pit stops during the day to remind yourself there is a world away from the computer
•          Drink lots of water
•          Breathe deeply
•          Be grounded
•          Use voicemail effectively especially if you’re concentrating on something and don’t want to be disturbed
•          Realise you don’t need to answer every email immediately
•          Use the Auto Reply function on your email to let people know you’re away from the office for a while so you don’t lose any business
•          Sleep well (something I still haven’t mastered)

The benefits of ageing? Being able to write a blog post like this and not worry if someone doesn’t like it. It's more about not needed validation, as you do when you're younger. It's about having the courage of your convictions, the benefit of having seen and done a lot, and knowing that something that seems huge one day will likely be almost forgotten in months to come. 

The best mentoring comes from age, experience, knowledge, straight-talking, empathy, big picture thinking, confidence, proven skills, and a desire to pay things forward.

If you need mentoring – or any other PR, marketing, branding or social media services we offer – contact Jill Woolf on 01903 812275.

Business survival : getting the best from yourself

“I feel so lonely as a freelancer” and “I’m the boss but it’s really lonely at the top” – these are two phrases I hear frequently from clients and networking colleagues alike.

Even very successful business people feel isolated and there are all sorts of reasons why. 

One of the best remedies is to get yourself a mentor; one you trust, can engage with, and is experienced and skilled enough to be able to be a real support to you as you go on your journey. And yes, I hate that word too. Let’s say ‘ride’ instead.

I’m a mentor for Entrepreneurial Spark in Brighton, an organisation powered by NatWest, Royal Bank of Scotland, Ulster Bank, KPMG Enterprise and Dell Technologies across the UK. In England and Wales, they also work with Pinsent Masons and in Scotland, Harper Macleod. E-Spark is “a people accelerator and work with you as the entrepreneurial leader to develop your mindsets and behaviours.”

I’ve been doing this for nearly two years and find it very interesting and rewarding. Here’s what I get out of mentoring:

•         I meet lots of businesses, both start-ups and those which are in the growth stage
•         I’m able to help these business people based on my 35+ years of experience working in and for a variety of different organisations, both commercial and not-for-profit
•         I’m delighted when my advice, support and contacts have helped businesses develop and grow
•         I’m also delighted when I see the faces of those business people when they learn something new from me; when my suggestions are taken on board and prove themselves as relevant and useful, and provide solutions to problems
•         I love hearing “I couldn’t have done this without your advice”, “You’ve completely changed my perspective” or “I would never have believed I could have done this so quickly and easily”
•        This is another hideous phrase, but I do love ‘giving something back’

I’ve done mentoring in various guises throughout the years, from being the first mentor in the Women in Housing scheme to Ride the Wave from Brighton & Hove Chamber of Commerce over the last couple of years. 

Sometimes through mentoring, people find the right thing for them is to move on from their jobs because they’re in the wrong place. That sounds negative, but it’s actually incredibly powerful and positive because often they’ve been stuck in a rut or just stuck generally, and they realise why.

I find I'm mentoring clients frequently too. It's part of helping their businesses be successful. As PR and communications should be core to every business, taking a strategic look as we do for our clients means sometimes mentoring is a useful by-product.

Mentoring isn’t about me doing it for you. It’s about empowering you to make the changes yourself, opening up your mind to other possibilities, and generally being there so you don’t feel so isolated.

I offer mentoring generally on an hourly basis, so if you think I can help you or one of your team in whom you wish to invest, just contact me on jill@chimeracomms.co.uk